i touched my eyes to the 1080x2400 griddle. my eyesight ain't no good anymore, and let there be no bush-beating about it: it's because of my penchant for cooking my retinas on LED, LCD, CRT, and AMOLED griddles of all shapes and sizes (but especially the 1080x2400 ones). will future peoples think it unthinkable that i knowingly damaged my only interface into this only world in a fruitless commitment to the cheap simulation behind the griddle? i fed precious parts of me into the cooktop only to be bitten mercilessly by the heat of it in return. my eyes, my eyes, my eyes! of course i should now be forsaken by distant beauty when i made my choice to pursue high-fructose copies. satanic deals in ignorant markets whisked away the best parts of my vision. show me the waiver that i signed; show me a child's signature on the bottom of a hot page. by the time i understood the price i had already been burned.